Cross Country Road Trip- USA

Travel time: August 2007  |  by Christina E.

New Mexico: Carlsbad Caverns

5 in the morning...

We arrive into Carlsbad hungry, constipated, dirty and tired. We are eagerly looking forward to a hot shower and something that doesn't resemble our car seats to sleep in. We called ahead and made reservations for Quality Inn. The GPS told us we were at our final destination but all we saw were Comfort Inn, Motel 6, Best Western-- no Quality Inn in sight. We finally called the front desk and that's when they chose to inform us that the motel was now 'Ocotillo Inn'.

Gee, don't know how we could've missed this

Gee, don't know how we could've missed this

We ended up crashing at 5:30am, getting only 3 hours of sleep, and barely dragging our butts out of the bedbug-infested mattress for the lame breakfast at the motel. We knew we had to eat to gain energy for the long walk through the Carlsbad Caverns.

We're almost there!

We're almost there!

Adobe houses

Adobe houses

The caverns are below these houses

The caverns are below these houses

For some reason, we found this set-up particularly funny

For some reason, we found this set-up particularly funny

The 'intense' hike down

The 'intense' hike down

The opening to the cavernous Caverns...

The opening to the cavernous Caverns...

The long and windy hike

The long and windy hike

Jen is almost near the mouth of the entrance

Jen is almost near the mouth of the entrance

As am I

As am I

Gettin' closer...

Gettin' closer...

Walking the Natural Entrance into the Caverns

Walking the Natural Entrance into the Caverns

Amazed at the vastness of it all

Amazed at the vastness of it all

The narrow walkways

The narrow walkways

Formed by acid and fossilized sea creatures

Formed by acid and fossilized sea creatures

This one reminds me of Jabba the Hut

This one reminds me of Jabba the Hut

Brrrrrrr....

Brrrrrrr....

Some words of advice:

Bring lots of water and a sweater. The caves are freezing cold!

In adoration of the fossilized snails

In adoration of the fossilized snails

So basically, Jen and I have decided that the best way to teach our children about sex and STDs is by bringing them to visit this cave. Our reasoning behind the previous statement is evidenced in the photographs below.

The (vaginal) cave of wonders

The (vaginal) cave of wonders

"...and that over there sweetie, well, that's called a genital wart"

"...and that over there sweetie, well, that's called a genital wart"

A possessed Christina

A possessed Christina

The restroom within the caverns

The restroom within the caverns

Inside 'The Big Room'

Inside 'The Big Room'

Surplise! (say with fobby accent)

Surplise! (say with fobby accent)

It's like being in WeHo. Kidding

It's like being in WeHo. Kidding

Rest stop AND photo op...

Rest stop AND photo op...

A-mazing

A-mazing

...and yes, husbands stared admirably as their wives glared at us disapprovingly

Naturally formed cave boob

Naturally formed cave boob

So apparently, the story behind the discovery of these caverns began when some dirt was kicked by one Jim White down into some gaping hole. He dropped a rock into the hole and measured the distance of how far the rock had fallen. From there, he built a ladder made out of fencing wire and proceeded into what would be one of the biggest caverns ever found in the United States. He then took an oil lantern and continued exploring, marking the caves with soot as a 'trail' and eventually, persuaded the government to recognize and preserve this as a natural state park.

Wire ladder

Wire ladder

Mexican bats

Mexican bats

piccolo

piccolo

grande

grande

We're in here!

We're in here!

After touring the Natural Entrance and The Big Room, Jen and I headed for our tour of The King's Palace with our fabulous and funny ranger. He made us carry his smelly pail filled with snails, a sponge and a rubber duck. He kept chuckling at Jen and I and often checked on us to ask if we were enjoying ourselves.

Our entertaining ranger

Our entertaining ranger

Jen holding the smelly kettle

Jen holding the smelly kettle

Contents inside the smelly pail

Contents inside the smelly pail

Leading us into uncharted territory

Leading us into uncharted territory

The Queen's Room

The Queen's Room

Feeling limestone formations

Feeling limestone formations

Too gorgeous for words

Too gorgeous for words

Unbelievably unbelievable

Unbelievably unbelievable

As our guide was telling us the story of the time when Jim White's lantern gave out and all he had was one match left, a guy standing in front of us let a loud one rip.

Jen, me and the couple behind us started laughing. We had the 'church giggles'-- you know, where you're laughing so hard but trying to stifle the giggles behind your palms at the same time because you're in a quiet or pious surrounding.

Anyhow, this must've continued for about a minute when the culprit barked "Will whomever it is that keeps laughing please stop so I can hear what the guide is saying?!"

That only made us laugh louder and harder.

The farter

The farter

Here he is again

Here he is again

Jen, the ranger, and I

Jen, the ranger, and I

Exiting the Carlsbad Caverns...

Exiting the Carlsbad Caverns...

© Christina E., 2007
You are here : Overview The Americas United States Carlsbad Caverns
The trip
 
Description:
The cross country road trip that has failed to materialize for 3 years but finally, fulfilled in the year of 2007. Two (crazy) girls set out one early Tuesday morning and in their journey's wake, meet transvestites, cute boys, get bitten by mosquitoes, get pierced with rusty nails and squirted in the eye with 'porn sausage', hang with bums and riffraffs at Union Station....
Details:
Start of journey: Aug 07, 2007
Duration: 11 days
End of journey: Aug 17, 2007
Travelled countries: United States
The Author
 
Christina E. is an active author on break-fresh-ground. since 17 years.
Picture of author